Big Sis birthday lunch

Sunday 21 September 2008

Big Sis decided to take us out for lunch on her birthday, rather than cook. This was booked before she saw the weather forecast. So we all troll off to eat, but Big Sis had chosen to ignore the obvious danger.

Lunch booked at 2pm, in a nice family pub/restaurant showing Chelsea v Manchester United.

She knew there wouldn't be any trouble, it isn't that sort of pub. But thinking she could keep her partner, brother, son and nephew away from the action?? She likes a challenge, I'll say that for her.

The boys took far too many cigarette breaks, but she didn't care. Tyler and Phoebe came along, and it was all about them instead.

Phoebe - bossy, controlling, and definitely ginger. Not a bad performance for 10 days old. One to watch for the future - 7/10.

Tyler - he was allowed to wear his football shirt, but couldn't see the game as the tv was in the bar area. So he consoled himself by flirting with the waitresses and trying to make sense of a Yorkshire Pudding. Good solid performance as usual - 9/10.

He has a teddy bear from Marco Pierre White, maybe I should give him a shove in that direction.

Phoebe Jane Laffin

Brief update from Mad Great Aunt Donna;

Tuesday 09/09/08: Agreed to look after Tyler from Tuesday morning. He is 13 months and 2 weeks old, weighs around 10kg and is 83cm tall. How hard could it be? Angela taken to hospital to be induced.

Wednesday 10/09/08: Angela finally induced at 10.30am, after spending 23 highly frustrating hours in hospital and fretting for her little boy.

Tyler decides to compete with the Large Hadron Collider, attempting to set new records for the highest speeds reached by a toddler. Experiment aborted at 12.30pm, 10/09/08 for lunchtime nap. James takes up the challenge, racing between son/wife/work, but neglected to set a timer so there is no data available.

Thursday 11/09/2008: Phoebe Jane Laffin, born 5.35am, weighing in at 6lb 9½oz. At the moment, I think she looks like a character out of a Beryl Cook picture. She dislikes having her picture taken, but is rather fond of a cuddle.

Tyler isn't quite sure what she is, but quite likes her.

Friday 12/09/08: I handed Tyler back on Friday night and spent the next two days recovering from a migraine!

Ignore the Lilypie ticker

Tyler's sibling will be arriving Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on how quick the drugs work!

And we are looking after Tyler.

He can only stay if he shares his toys, I've made that quite clear.

Eastenders and Emmerdale non-spoilers

It has just occurred to me that I should do some other non-spoilers, in a spirit of fairness.

Eastenders - The rough-looking one and the terminally stupid one will do a comedy scene that isn't funny, to prove they aren't always depressing gits. Then someone will beat them up and they will be barred from the pub.

Emmerdale - will have a complete lack of cows in an idyllic countryside scene, and won't have the wit to blame foot and mouth.

Hollyoaks - whatever they do, it will be done with way too much lipgloss.

Aussie soaps - 'strewth, mate, don't do longhaul.

Coronation Street non-spoiler

Mooching back through Manchester last night, heard some hooting and hollering. Feeling a bit pissed off as I was not in the mood for nutter-dodging, I looked around to plot an escape route and spotted the filming vans. Being nosy, and hoping to get a view of something interesting like a news story, I carried on.

Could only spot a taxi, so I asked one of the bored crew members what was happening. Instantly he went into 'Tell you and I'll have to kill you' mode. Apparently it was a Corrie scene and ultra-secret.

Yeah, right, filming in a road off Princess Street, opposite Canal Street and next to the entrance for a Novotel. Sooo private and exclusive.

I glanced back and noticed some of the Usual Suspects from the cast. You know, Thingy and Wotsit and Doo-dah and Him-you-can-never-remember-but-he-always-turns-up-at-awards-night. And believe me, it was not the wardrobe department's finest hour.

I didn't have the heart to tell the crew member he was wasting his time - I had no intention of stopping. I enjoy watching soaps - when I don't have anything else to do. They are nice daft viewing treats, but I don't schedule my life round them. And the industry from the crap magazines creating the spoilers, that just makes me sad. You know the headlines "Does he live??" "Is she pregnant??", when surely "Is HE pregnant?" would be more interesting as a plot. And "Should she live??" opens a whole new can of worms for the writing team.

FYI, Wotsit looks quite tall on telly, but is a right little short-arse in real life.