It has just occurred to me that I should do some other non-spoilers, in a spirit of fairness.
Eastenders - The rough-looking one and the terminally stupid one will do a comedy scene that isn't funny, to prove they aren't always depressing gits. Then someone will beat them up and they will be barred from the pub.
Emmerdale - will have a complete lack of cows in an idyllic countryside scene, and won't have the wit to blame foot and mouth.
Hollyoaks - whatever they do, it will be done with way too much lipgloss.
Aussie soaps - 'strewth, mate, don't do longhaul.
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