Don't worry, the Reservoir Mogs have not decided to rival the wonderful Mike Whalley's World of Sport. Nip over there if you want proper football journalism. This is just observation on the effect of sunshine and sporting fervour on the paranoid.
The sun is shining, the banners were all looking very nice at 8.30am this morning, and you could not move in Manchester city centre at lunchtime. We know this because some nice friend has sent pictures from the news.
And my dear colleagues are bricking it. Manchester has been invaded by 100,000 drunk Scottish rapists and pillagers, who will destroy our wonderful town and much too dangerous to walk on our streets. They are certain of it. Oh yes, indeedy we are going to hell in a tartan handcart.
????? WTF????
And you wonder why I'm checking out the Jobsmine at Manchester Evening News.
Neet, the mother of the wonderful Child Dawkins, is a big footie fan. Mercifully she isn't in today! I shudder to think what she would have said. This morning we had a course on Equality and Diversity (no stereotyping of ethnic and socio-economic groups because it is a BAD THING). It didn't permeate the fear and hatred of this office though.
So Big Mouth here, decides to have a go on behalf of the football fans. And now they are all cowering slightly, waiting for me to start speaking Scottish and reveal the Rangers shirt under the t-shirt. Personally I'm more scared of the Chavs vs Students vomiting contests on a Saturday night.
And yet we work just off the main road leading to an A&E department, and I am sure I've heard fewer ambulance sirens than usual. Okay, so some cases may have been diverted to hospitals you can reach without a police escort through the crowd. But, according to the theory, the vicious soccer thugs should have been sending them down by the lorryload so it should have been constant screeching. One of them swears it has been really busy. I keep my window open most days; I disagree.
So sod them and their nasty narrow views, I'm going to walk back to the car park past the fan sites, enjoy the atmosphere and drive home after kick-off. I have no real chance of getting past the stadium until then, so I'm going to make the most of it.
And if it should end in carnage I am going to Photoshop pictures of my colleagues onto the offenders....
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