I wouldn't say I worked in a wildlife haven.
Sure, since they've started to landscape round us, all the birds are back and we have an abundance of creepy-crawlies. But I didn't really expect to see a bat in one of our training rooms. Zooming around in perfect circles, desperate to escape.
I know that feeling.
Poor critter. Instead of closing the door and leaving it in peace, I made the mistake of yelling out that there was a bird in the training room. This was before I realised that it couldn't be a bird - birds produce more noise and more shit when alarmed.
The new girl decided to catch the critter by trying to drop a tea-towel on it. The sensible creature retreated to the top of a 2-metre door and folded up very tightly. In the meantime we folded down a partition door, to offer it an escape route outside, and called the RSPCA.
And here's where I did the cruel thing. I offered to stay while the RSPCA came but one of my most hateful colleagues wanted the kudos and brownie points from dealing with the bat crisis. So I left her to it - because I knew she'd be really pissed off to miss the CSI catch-up on Five. She lives out in the wilds, travels by train and is pathetically excited by the fact she can now get Sky as her husband has relented and said they could have it. She couldn't get any Five signal before.
WTF???! Couldn't she arrange her own installation and direct debit?
So I am really, really sorry, and I can't apologise to the bat population enough, but Tweedledum wanted it more than me, so I left the poor creature in her care.
Just thank God she prefers CSI to Ozzy Osbourne...
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