Cat behaviour explained

Akif_Pirinçci apparently collaborated on a book about cat behaviour.

I should buy a copy. I'm having problems with a line of reasoning from Jasmine.

Eric is still feeling sore from a recent tooth extraction. To be brutally honest, all his back teeth out and a biopsy which has revealed a slow but malignant cancer.

Combining honest discomfort with a healthy desire to milk the situation for all the tuna it is worth, he is playing up. He's on lovely nutritious treats, all mashed/chopped/blended, while the others think it is fantastic and wolf down their shares at warp speed.

The little mouse almost went unnoticed, as I lay on the floor persuading Eric to eat spag bol. He has invented a nice little sport - he gets under the dining table and weaves in and out of the chair legs, knowing I can't reach him. All the better to avoid antibiotics and bad food choices.

There it was, neatly placed under his favourite chair. I knew Eric wasn't up to hunting, Tig was snoring on the sofa and Bailey doesn't catch mice.

Jasmine went into raptures when I asked "Did you bring Mousie in?". She likes praise for honest graft. But if he is wary about tackling mince, how did she think he would manage a mouse?

Answers by carrier pigeon, just in case he gets peckish. *groan*

The Second Mid-Life Crisis

When I was 32, I realised it was unlikely I would settle down with someone, and have the "2.2 children and half a dog" life, any time soon.

I decided to take the plunge and buy a house. As you do.

The last week of May 1996 proved a bit hectic. In the space of 3 days I got the keys to the house, had my navel pierced and acquired Eric Morecambe, Cat Legend. I wondered if it was my mid-life crisis as both my paternal grandfather and my father died aged 64 and I started to brood about it.

Two weeks later the IRA bombing of Manchester on 15 June had a profound effect on several members of my friends and family, and made me realise that nothing should be taken for granted in this world. Although they said there were no casualties, some things did go forever.

At the time I owned a little blue Mini, called Muttley. I sold it 6 months later and regretted it instantly.

Fast -forward to 2010: the house is still standing and so is Eric, but totting up the gains and losses over 14 years made me feel that I was being sad and complacent again. I applied the 'Death Bed Regret' criteria. What would I regret NOT doing, with my final breath? Obviously it had to be something I could change for myself. I decided it was time for a new MLC. I'd always wanted a convertible and the trusty Yardis was becoming a wee bit of a money pit.

So meet Muttley II.

Colin Bell the Caterpillar

I've acquired a new critter.

I found this caterpillar on a bunch of freesias, bought from a famous American rip-off supermarket.

I do have high minded principles on this place, but they get shot down when I need milk on the way home, and I can fit in their size 12 jeans.

Shallow, but well-meaning, I am.

He's called Colin Bell because when he made the bid for freedom after the photoshoot, he chose the framed photo of Colin Bell as the preferred escape route.

*if you are wondering why I have a framed, signed photo of Colin Bell on the bookcase - it involves alcohol, a charity auction and the fact my dad really rated him as a player. My dad normally didn't comment on these matters, but he did like Colin Bell.

Well, that was the year that was...

Well!

What can I say about it really?

Good bits - getting out of the comfort zone with a 2-stone weightloss, first 10k run, first and last firewalk, and a very brief appearance in a falconry display.

Add Faye and Kevin's wedding, and the look on Tyler's face as he held his first guitar, and there are a few nice memories there.

I could also add the joys of wind-up penguin racing on Christmas Day, but there was a blatant case of race fixing (Kev, hang your head in SHAME). Here's the starting lineup;



There are loads of others too, but I am currently suffering self-inflicted chocolate overload, which isn't helping my memory at all. Clearly need detox and a nap.

On the massive downside, I didn't get to share any of them with my mum.

So to move life on a bit, I have already formulated a load of plans that will never see the light of day, and dispatched them with the list of resolutions I resolutely refuse to make.

2010 will be just fine.

Cyprus Wedding

This went surprisingly well :)

Tuesday 13 October: had to send pets to bootcamp, in a lovely but remote kennels. 3 cats, 1 dog, and a dirt track that had abandoned 4-wheel drives along it. Not Chelsea tractors either, but real working Land Rovers! The Yardis is still in shock. Packing was horrendous, and I didn't get to bed at all.

Wednesday 14 October: Tyler and Phoebe were brilliantly behaved on the flight. At Nissi Beach, the Big Sis took a complete dislike to our rooms and lodged a strong suggestion they should move us. My room was fine, but the downside of beautiful mature trees is the lack of light they cause. They also hid the karaoke bar opposite, but they didn't really help the soundproofing. The kids were in a fantastic beach bungalow, beach 100 yards from front door.

Hit Ayia Napa for the hen night, which I left after the drinking game but before the karaoke. Was excused as at this point I'd been awake for 40 hours so had proved I could last the course. And the drinks were overpriced and watered down, not really worth staying for!

Thursday 15 October: did some exploring of Nissi Beach and Ayia Napa, which is beautiful out of season. Sun, sand and sheer laziness. Perfect. Throw in the superb burgers at the Pool bar and the booze, heaven.

I also found out that there were many cats in the hotel grounds, and the grounds of the adjoining pubs and restaurants. Sleek, shiny and wary, they live happily on the local furry creatures and treats from the guests, with minimal intervention from the owners. They are not pets; they are highly effective pest control.

Friday 16 October: beautiful day, beautiful venue, and the bride & groom scrubbed up quite well too! I was entrusted with a nice digital SLR, which means that Douglas has all my photos. He'll know which ones are mine, the crap ones.

My brother made a brilliant speech, so proud of him. He nearly cried when he mentioned Mum, and Kev's grandad Fred. Diane (Kev's mum) was so glad he'd mentioned Fred, as I think that sometimes people forget that strong capable mums are still someone's baby, and she was missing her dad. We've all been honest with each other about how we feel about Rosie; I think Diane had been doing the brave face thing too well.

Several members of the party ended up on the beach, some ended up in the water but no one drowned. Our venue closed at one, so it was across the road to the karaoke bar! Those formally dressed got changed for the occasion, I'm pleased to say. My brother and Rod, father of the groom, will appear on YouTube at some point with their rendition of 'You're 16', an age either has seen in 40 years.

Saturday 17 October-Tuesday 20 October: Sun, sand, food, more sun, and so on...great!

I tried quadbiking but gave up after 10 minutes. It was too much like hard labour.

Wednesday 21 October: our plans to live feral in the grounds with the hotel cats were discovered and we were dispatched to the airport pronto. Damn.

Thursday 22 October: Eric had enjoyed his stay at the cattery so much, he refused to leave. That is the BEST endorsement anyone could give! But he was caught in the end, and the scratches have nearly faded.

Wedding prep and all that.

Yes, I've booked the flights.
Yes, I've printed copies of everything for everyone (including a 2-year old, who can't read).
Yes, hotel and transfers booked.
Yes, I've got travel insurance and,
Yes, I've checked it includes quadbikes (!)
Yes, I know where my passport and EHIC card are, and neither is due to expire.
Yes, I've got a dress that the bride should like (I like hers, she can be nice about mine or I'll wreck her wedding video).
Yes, the pets are innoculated and booked in an appropriately luxurious kennel.
Yes, I've booked the time off work and know what deadlines I have to finish before I go.
Yes, I know I need currency and I will get it sorted, ok?

But I'm still sure I've forgotten something.

Bugger.

Go Team Tootill - AND WE DID

Saturday morning, 10.30am, Tatton Park.

1600 runners (or or 1590 runners and 10 members of Team Tootill) set off round the course. We even had a team logo, thanks to our mate Pete in Graphic Support Workshop. Check it out here

And I don't know how many finished, but WE DID!










Fastest Team Tootill-pootler was Steve at 52mins 30s.

I got round in 1 hour 25, according to the DJ. So did Lisa Frowny Baby, but she did wait for me so could've crossed about 5 minutes earlier. Jolan paid the price for getting stuck in jogging traffic and finished just behind.

Our Janey McN was the last over the line, so at the goading of the DJ we legged it back and crossed the line with her. Have a sneaky peek at the Running Pictures website Our bib numbers were in the 801-900 group. Be warned this page takes forwever to download.

And we've earned a shitload of cash for Cancer Research UK, thanks to our very supportive and generous mates :)